Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
