To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
