Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
