Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
