Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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