I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
