I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
