If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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