Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
