He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
