If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
