Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
