respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
