Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
