Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
