Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
