Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
