Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
