you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
