:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
