Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
