you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
