In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
