I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
