I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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