i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
People in love make me want to vomit
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize