I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize