look no pants
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
