i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
