last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just gargled with NyQuil
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
