During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
