what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
