i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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