I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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