i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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