This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
