Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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