At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
