It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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