So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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