oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize