Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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