oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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