you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
