god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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