You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
