all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
