I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
