Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
