i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
