member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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