Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize