just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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