Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
