Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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