watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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