What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize