dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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