tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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